Mesmerized by Emeralds

I suppose there’s much more to say

much more

infliction

confliction

just one thing left

remember me when you go to Argentina

estoy contento contigo

yes there were horses

polo, you told me it was structured, polo

I picture you there on the field

having a café of some sort

your boyfriend was Turkish

he loved you in the moment

never for next year or the year after

you were an only child

your father old

an old sperm that hit an egg twenty years junior

and then you were kind to me

allowing me to believe in who I was

even if it was just for a drip moment

a place where I had no idea of

as they said ‘a sheltered life’

aren’t we all from there though?

Sheltered until the shell comes apart

And then hibiscus leaves

Opened and you breathed oxygen into my name 

You said it was real

It was who I was

In this molecule time

congratulations

it is what you name it

Honestly

that’s where I stood

Hemingway typed against my shoulders

making his words heavy

wet socks licking my Achilles tendon

Smelling like cooked beef and chicken

On wooden skewers

not the kind you might find with splinters at someone’s house for dinner

while you stand there in a pool of small talk wondering if the pineapple has any wood in it

Is it safe? Can I eat this? Will it cut my esophagus as it goes down my windpipe?

Will someone see me trying to casually spit it out and fit it into my cocktail napkin strategically curled in between my index and thumb

My hand hurts

It is so tense

I want to relax

uncooth educated feminist wench

I still can’t believe Hillary didn’t win

Hello, can someone come clean this up

I’ve got to get to Chicago in an hour

No I am not meeting

an arrogant man

who chops with one hand

I’ll sprinkle some brown sugar on you

Sweety

just in case you can’t wait for cheat day

No I am not Christian

And yes

I do believe in your religion

your true religion

What makes us love or like someone vs. someone else? How do we know when we
have reached the unconditional level of pure bliss in life? Why do we like or
love some people and not others? Is it their sense of humor, the way they look, 
smell or maybe it’s just the way we feel when we walk away from them. Do we see
peace, inner peace, wrapped in presence that says all is well, a flow of letting
go. Today is here and tomorrow is not for now, demain n’est pas pour le moment, 
c’est tout.

The heart beats knowing what it wants before it tells us. We have the choice to surrender to this delicate song sung along sunsets, rain, new moons, winds and the strongest desire of just being loved which lives in us all.  

S A